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Written by Chagmion Antoine
At orientation, they give all the girls whistles, which they are supposed to blow in case some unknown assailant tries to drag them off into the woods. It is a nice gesture, but honestly, gas stations in Alfred still allow you to pump before you pay. The town is one in a chain of intimate communities where everyone knows their neighbors, and familiar names are always in the police blotter. It's one of the few instances where public shame is an effective deterrent to crime.
It's a small campus, so you're never too far from safety. There are emergency phones strategically placed around campus, and campus police are constantly patrolling on foot or on horseback. They'll even escort you the whole five feet to your dorm if your whistle's broken or you just don't want to go alone. The greatest danger to students at Alfred University is their own boredom. There just isn't much to do. The mixture of alcohol, idleness, and various types of frustration often leads to some pretty serious situations. If you want to survive four years at Alfred, bring your car—it's your only link to the outside world and Wegmans—but don't drive drunk. Discover clubs and intramurals, and wear bright colors if you plan on hiking nearby nature trails during hunting season.
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