University of Massachusetts - The Inside Scoop

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Facts

Slang

Cluster F@#ked - A student who has to report to the cluster office because he got caught doing something.
Frat Row - The street between campus and Amherst where most of the frats are located.
Grinder - A submarine sandwich/hoagie.
Haigis Mall - Area in front of the Fine Arts Center, not really a mall.
Puffer’s - Puffer’s Pond, a popular swimming hole near campus.
Rape Trails - Various trails around campus through secluded spots that students sometimes take as a short cut, at their own risk.
Round Robin - A drinking event that occurs in the dorms.
Shotgun - A method of chugging a beer straight from the can. The tab gets cracked slightly and a large hole to drink from is cut in the side of the can.
The Bowl - Orchard Hill area where people congregate.
The Cage - Curry Hicks Athletic Field.
The Cluster Office - Every three dorms or so have a “headquarters,” where students can obtain different objects or services. This is also where students have to report when they get in trouble.
The DC - Dining Common (cafeteria).
The Fart Center - Fine Arts Center.
The Horseshoe - A wrap-around road in Southwest near the basketball courts.
The Quad - Campus pond or the Northeast Quad.
The Zoo - UMass.
Whitless/Shitmore - The Whitmore Administration building.
Wicked - Very.

Things I Wish I Knew Before Coming To School

Buying anything but the most basic meal plan is a waste.
Don’t skip orientation.
Fake IDs do not work well here.
Going on exchange for a semester is comparable in cost to attending UMass for that same amount of time.
If you are unable to register for a course online or via telephone, approach the professor and ask to be admitted.
Just because you need a course doesn’t mean you’ll get it.
One bad grade can really bring down your GPA.
Time management.

Tips to Succeed

Do an internship.
Go to class; sounds like common sense but still very important.
Keep an assignment book, and write down and mark off all of your assignments.
Take every extra credit opportunity you can; don’t be lazy.
Try to develop a schedule for studying.
Work hard and play hard, balance these things in your life.

Urban Legends

Every year, the rumor that Bill Cosby is going to speak at graduation gets circulated around the entire campus.
If your roommate commits suicide, you will be granted straight As for that semester.
Scooby Doo was created by a UMass alumnus, and each of the characters represents one of the five colleges (UMass, Amherst, Smith, Holyoke, and Hampshire).

Traditions

Streaking - Fall and spring streaking happens each semester before finals. As a way to blow off steam, hundreds of UMass students will run butt-naked through the Northeast Quad at night as a break from studying.

School Spirit

The school spirit at UMass is not what it used to be, partially because the athletic department has been downsized over the last couple years. However, certain sporting events are still a big draw at UMass, like Midnight Madness and the Homecoming football game.

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In Summary

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